the most amazing christmas... [26 Dec 2005|01:46am] [ mood | jubilant...hell yeah i am!!! ] [ music | Death Cab For Cutie - Summer Skin ] this was seriously one of, if not the, best christmas(') i think i have ever had. i don't think i have felt this happy...this marvelous...this magnificent....this...well, you get the point. we played connect four, we watched the oc, we played bass, we exchanged gifts...which are pretty sweet might i add, and we just did nothing. i love just doing nothing. it truly is one of the best activities...can you call nothing an activity? and noting that i have known her for about 4 weeks now...i'm going to not care about that. and say without pause that the night ended with us walking back out to her car in the pouring rain to say goodbye, and told her that i loved her. if you can get inside me and tell me that my feelings are misleading, then go ahead and do so. but until then, my heart is hers. and has been willingly given. but ahhh...i don;t even know how to explain anything else. i hope everyone had a wonderful christmas. i would say..."i hope everyone had a christmas as good as mine" but i'm not going to even bother. because i won;t believe you. i love you erin (not that she can read this) and if you want to hear me rant about how great she is. just talk to me...that seems to be what i like to do lately. :) painting pictures, bleeding colors

fuck... [12 Dec 2005|10:57am] [ mood | indifferent ] [ music | Alexisonfire - Passing Out In America ] thats really all i can say... i got caught this morning sneaking back into my house. this fucking sucks. but you know what...i don;t mind so much. it was well worth it. ahhh...this is going to suck. i can't see her for another week now. and i miss her already. i'm so ridiculous. and you all probably want me to just shut up. anyways...i have stuff to do. bye painting pictures, bleeding colors

an update on it all...i guess. [07 Dec 2005|12:02am] [ mood | hopeful ] [ music | Death Cab for Cutie - Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) ] so...i just wanted to let everyone know some important information. i, james richard kelsey jr. and miss erin louise cartier...are now officially a couple. you know the boyfriend/girlfriend type? haha...jk...i know you knew that. but yes, since the 6th of december which was like a a few hours ago...this statement has been true. thats really all i have to say... bye<3 painting pictures, bleeding colors

i won;t detail that much... [03 Dec 2005|11:22am] [ mood | crazy ] [ music | Death Cab for Cutie - Coney Island ] ...because i don;t really feel like typing that much. haha. but yesterday...was seriously one of the best days i have EVER had. i've never actually had that much fun at a dance. it's kind of crazy. this was the first day that i had met her...well, technically third. haha i don;t even know how to describe it. i had the greatest feeling last night...i've never felt it before. so i don;t really know how to describe it. but im going to try and take things slow...you know? this feels too good to just rush through it. i haven't stopped smiling since maybe monday. but now it;s just....oh, i don;t even know. wow...i wish i could describe this better for you. it's amazing either way. erin louise cartier<3 haha she's pretty amazing. criticize me and hound me about it if you wish. but guess what... I DON'T FUCKING CARE hahahaha well, talk to you folks later. i have a feeling today is going to be pretty wonderful as well.:D painting pictures, bleeding colors

look... [01 Dec 2005|04:36pm] look...it's a smile>>>:) i love smiles. i have had a good deal of them this week. i have to work tonight. but oh well. i'm more looking forward to a phone call afterwards. :)<<<there it is again!! painting pictures, bleeding colors

yes, there is someone... [28 Nov 2005|11:04pm] [ mood | cheerful ] [ music | The Early November - Fluxy ] ...whether it be a good friendship in the making. or more. i do not know just yet. but i guess we'll have to see. she's pretty awesome though. i don;t want to release too much information though. so, thats all for tonight. painting pictures, bleeding colors

i've been trying...i swear [27 Nov 2005|10:09pm] [ mood | klmoin ] [ music | Neutral Milk Hotel - Two Headed Boy Part 2 ] hmm...so, i've been trying to keep myself busy. it's been working. i guess. i drove to a far away place last night. and met a person i had wanted to for a long time. she's a good friend. :) i would update you on everything. but i really don;t feel like typing eveything. i finally saw harry potter. i liked it. but it put me in a really weird mood. it was really a combination of things though, that i don't want to get into don't fret guys!!! by the by...i hate the nj turnpike. and you shouldn;t have to pay fucking $6 to go across a bridge. i'm done. painting pictures, bleeding colors

woo!!!hoo!!! [25 Nov 2005|05:47pm] [ mood | excited ] [ music | The Promise Ring - Make Me A Chevy ] that looks so stupid/\/\/\/\ but okay so, i am in an awesome band. we are amazing. by my standards at least. we have one song half/way finished, and then we have a million and one covers we could do. "Jessie and My Whetstone" is a very good contender. so fucking fun to play. next week...yesssss. right now our now name is a blantant TGUK reference...The Four Minute Mile...haha. but the song we are writing...is so fucking awesome and catchy. and it's a ggood sign when i kind of forget where i am while i'm playing. so, i am very ver very very evry very very very excited. enough very's? So, let me list The Four Minute Mile's Influences...hmm Saves the Day The Get Up Kids The Promise Ring Motion City Soundtrack...two/three years ago The Early November Bright Eyes Bloc Party The Academy Is... Say Anything The Promise Ring...yes i said it again yeah...so, by that...we're pretty much an "emo" band...no...we aren't...i'll punch you. ok, we need a different name...i like the reference...but everyone will think we're a bad GUK cover band... painting pictures, bleeding colors

it's over... [25 Nov 2005|11:21am] [ mood | closure ] [ music | Say Anything - Wow...I Can Be Sexual Too ] ...or at least thats what it seems. it's just something that i really have no control over anymore. so oh well. i need to figure out some things...for sure. i don;t think i;m confused as much...well, i guess that answers that question. haha. but i don;t know...it's strange i guess. there's no one in my sites as of now(anymore). so, here's to being single? haha...no. hmm...so, now that i am totally distracted to what i was doing. anyways...i'll finish with a toast... or maybe not. i love those that i consider my friends...and those who consider me their friend. without you guys(and gals)...i would seriously be nothing. i should write a hardcore song...you know...one of those songs about brotherhood and shit. but you can;t really understand anything they say? yeah, one of those. :) painting pictures, bleeding colors

arrrg... [24 Nov 2005|01:40pm] [ mood | and i am supposed to tell you? ] [ music | Minus the Bear - Absinthe Party at the Fly Honey Wherehouse ] so a pirate i shall become... so, i convinced myself today i was going to be completely okay with everything... i'm easily swayed lets just say. i want to be. but i think i just a need a little bit more time. cause if i don;t i'll end up being stupid again. which is not needed. oh well, ANYWAYS... i hope everyone is having (or has) a wonderful thanksgiving:) and does anyone want to do anything later? call me...3774619 oh, and listen to this whenever you feel sad...it's amazing... Wow...I Can Be Sexual Too just click on "Wow I Can Get Sexual Too" when you get there dammit painting pictures, bleeding colors

i've made 2 personal ads for myself [23 Nov 2005|02:19am] [ mood | content ] [ music | Broken Social Scene - Major Label Debut (Fast) ] 1st one: xTo beCured: slightly unattractive, over-emotional, below-average high school student, so don;t bother... 2nd one: xTo beCured: fucking awesome guy, who plays guitar, little piano, and sings almost like a girl, writes poetry, among other things...but he is just absolutely amazing with everything he does...so it doesn;t matter....put a shuffle board in his hands and watch him even do wonders there...YES!! 10 POINTS which one is better? haha painting pictures, bleeding colors

i need to make up my damn mind on how i am feeling... [23 Nov 2005|01:57am] [ mood | confused...sort of? ] [ music | I have a chorus song stuck in my head... ] i'm feeling alright... and i might like someone... but i think it's a bad idea if i do... i'm also not sure at this point if i still only like her as a friend... i guess we'll see eh? oh, and don;t worry.... this is no one any of you would know... i mean that seriously... (i should stop being so damn sarcastic, cause then i wouldn;t have to say that...) oh, and on top of that, i still have everything else. that if you've read or heard. you know. arrghh...i really should become a pirate. you guys were right bleeding colors

dammit... [22 Nov 2005|04:30pm] [ mood | unsure ] [ music | The Get Up Kids - Mass Pike ] i seriously wish i could take back some things that i do. cause i do some really stupid things sometimes. and it ends up hurting the one person who i had loved... or still love... i'm not sure. but someone really needs to tell me to keep my mouth shut sometimes. it gets me in a lot of trouble. and just makes things worse. fuck... painting pictures, bleeding colors

a poem i have written... [18 Nov 2005|05:48pm] [ mood | trying to be sure ] [ music | Emery - Left With Alibis and Lying Eyes ] "This Could Be For/Ever Changing" let an eyelash fall into a sea of blue, with golden suns, we all seem well. we all don;t seem well. no, not all the time. our reflections are in the ripples, and jealousy of the moon, set those stars to sleep. we all don;t seem well. all the time. chairs in the corners are empty, it's pillars hold up arches not needed we all feel so small. yeah, we all feel small. all the time. stacked like tupperware, a tin can measured up to us, we're not as tall as we used to be. we all feel so small. all the time. the spaces between your teeth, sing out to me, in a whispered lullaby. we are all in love. all in love. all the time. there was a beautiful flaw, that first whisper i heard. i was in love. all the time. intimate is an instant, and all seems a shipwreck. but your radiance atop of, me, and we're all not sorry. we're all not sorry. all the time. there was a time when, tongue in cheek, meant yours in mine. and we wouldn;t have to say a thing at all. no, none at all. the last leaves fell, on a rotted wooden plank. the last steps taken, were on their way back. the first thing i remembered, were your fingertips, and slightly brightened skies. painting pictures, bleeding colors

hmm...yes [17 Nov 2005|07:17am] [ mood | magnificiently mellow ] [ music | Modest Mouse - Dark Center Of The Universe ] i've been in a very live journal update mood lately... and oh...modest mouse makes me magnificently mellow. how bout that...alliteration mother fuckers. haha. jk but yes, anyways. im trying to feel better about everything. you know, trying to focus on other things. doesn;t always work...haha. last nights update had very much to do that. but i'm going to try and try a bit harder. haha well... everyone... i think i'm going to... go to school. i feel like i'm in a very writingish/creative mood. so, maybe i'll write a little something and post it up here later. not that any of you care!!! no, jk. haha. ok, i love you all. <3 painting pictures, bleeding colors

[16 Nov 2005|10:44pm] [ music | Modest Mouse - Teeth Like God's Shoeshine ] i can be such a fucking idiot sometimes...thats all i am saying. painting pictures, bleeding colors

:) [14 Nov 2005|11:25pm] [ mood | content ] [ music | tv ] but you know...i do not know what i would do without the friends that i have. i seriously consider myself one of luckiest people alive for the actual friends that i have. i can always count on at least one of them to be there. i just want to say thanks, to those of you who will see this. there's more, and i'll tell you eventually. i won't fret. bleeding colors

[14 Nov 2005|11:04pm] [ mood | blank ] [ music | none ] i don't realy know what the hell to do anymore...i can't really talk to the one person it seems i need to. and well...i don;t realy know. as i said. painting pictures, bleeding colors

so today... [12 Nov 2005|01:04am] [ mood | contemplative ] [ music | Dredg - Planting Seeds ] ...was alright. i mean i did get to see a band i;ve been wanting to see for the past year or so...maybe more? i don;t really remember. haha time with alex and kiefer is always good. although me and alex talk more than me and kiefer and alex. if that made sense? and i love my girlfriend. no matter what happens...between us...around us...umm...not around us? haha but i really do... there has been two other times where i thought i had loved someone...both feeling completely different. and you know what... what i feel when i see her...think about her....hear her voice...anything....it could top anything, and i don;t know if i could ever feel this same way about anything. or anyone for that matter. sure. going to shows. music in general can make me feel pretty amazing. nothing to compare to how she makes me feel. sometimes i don;t know what to do with myself. haha i wish i could just tell this all to her this very moment. but she is probably asleep. lol. and i would have no way of doing so anyway. thats too far to walk in this cold...although...i could give it a try. haha but anyways...tonight was rather swell. met up with a friend. twas nice. got a new hoodie. doesn;t really feel as if it will keep me very warm...but it;s new none the less. haha. and it's not black! which i was very excited about. haha. i'm going to try and write of my experience at the show later on. and by the way...i didn;t enjoy mewithoutyou in the slightest...i tried so hard to get into it. and you know what>? it just wasn;t happening. i need some emotion. not just spoken word. even the music was not that impressive at most times. dredg=just absolutely amazing....everything about them just blew me away. when i write all about it...it'll more detailed than that..haha blood brothers...they were pretty good. but i expected more from them. it was still pretty cool though, i must say. coheed...i do not care what anyone says. they're amazing musicians. like absolutely astounding at times. and it was definitely a nice selection of songs. opened up with the first four songs off Good Apollo and then i think it was...you know what...i have no idea the order. i know the songs they played...and i'm not going into more detail now. because most of you have stopped reading by now. :) painting pictures, bleeding colors

just to correct assumptions... [05 Nov 2005|05:46pm] [ mood | better...much better ] [ music | The Beatles - Strawberry Fields Forever ] i'm no longer the upset person i was a few days ago. i just need to keep in mind...that i'm in love. and it's the greatest feeling that could ever be possible. it makes me so happy just thinking about it. yes, all of thisn is extremely corny and all...but hey i need to be corny sometimes. haha. i love my friends too. i love you.<3 painting pictures, bleeding colors

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